True Confessions of the Self-Absorbed

Mixed Emotions 24x36

I've been thinking a lot about a word lately: Narcissism.  I've always considered it to be an extremely negative term.  Then, last week, it was brought to my attention that perhaps I am one... by someone who LIKES me.  Ouch!  So,  Mr. Webster.... what do you have to say about this?  (Actually - who uses a dictionary anymore?) I googled it:

Narcissism describes the trait of excessive self-love, based on self-image or ego.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic

egotistic: characteristic of those having an inflated idea of their own importance

wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

narcissist - someone in love with themselves
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

narcissism - self-love: an exceptional interest in and admiration for yourself; "self-love that shut out everyone else"
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

OK.... Besides the "self love that shuts out everyone else"  I guess I am a bit narcissistic.  Who - I ask you - who is not? - Especially artists!  Look at my work.  Buy my work.  Don't you love this painting?  Here's my blog-read my blog.  Artists, actors, dancers, bloggers, public speakers, politicians (yikes) - we are all a giant pack of narcissists! 

Everyone with a FaceBook page who is telling the world where they are and what thier status is....Everyone who has ever tweeted a tweet... Narcissistic!
So - is it really the negative word we think it is??? (Or is it only negative if we are talking about other people?)

This is a hard pill to swallow....but seriously isn't being an artist a little self - indulgent?  Then there is all the emotion and introspection that goes into being a painter- at least for me. (Me Me Me.)  I do tend to dwell a good bit on why I do what I do - why I feel the way I feel.  I deal with my crazy emotions in a VERY thorough manner.  So - is it narcissism?  Is it necessary to be a deep thinker and a little-self absorbed to be a good artist? Truthfully, I think it is.

Escaping the Time Suck

Bridge to Nowhere - 16x16 mixed media on board - 2008

After a much needed (yet involuntary) break from the Internet, I'm back. Well sort of. Other than a little Tweeting, a few Facebook updates and checking email from my Blackberry...I have been mostly cut off from the Internet -AKA: Big Huge Time Suck. I have had a summer full of technical problems: the laptop is on a respirator-I don't think she'll make it. My Internet connection is hit or miss with no explanation. My router takes mini vacations without even letting me know....essentially I am in techno-hell. I am actually blogging right now on a borrowed computer and posting an old image from a Facebook album. It's the first time I've blogged in a long while...the first time I've seen a full version page of Facebook...the first time I've looked at a YouTube in a long, long time.

The amazingly good thing that has come from this is that I have been painting A LOT! I have churned out some good work - focused work. I have rearranged my studio to give me some great new workspace. I have (sort of ) organized my supplies. I have been a full time artist! It has been wonderful. I'm thinking that in the future, I should schedule a few breaks here and there to really focus on my art. After all - It's why I'm on the web in the first place. Don't get me wrong...I can't wait to purchase my new laptop and get my website updated, get back to blogging on a regular basis and do all the other things I love to do online. But for now....I'm headed to the studio!