Escaping the Time Suck

Bridge to Nowhere - 16x16 mixed media on board - 2008

After a much needed (yet involuntary) break from the Internet, I'm back. Well sort of. Other than a little Tweeting, a few Facebook updates and checking email from my Blackberry...I have been mostly cut off from the Internet -AKA: Big Huge Time Suck. I have had a summer full of technical problems: the laptop is on a respirator-I don't think she'll make it. My Internet connection is hit or miss with no explanation. My router takes mini vacations without even letting me know....essentially I am in techno-hell. I am actually blogging right now on a borrowed computer and posting an old image from a Facebook album. It's the first time I've blogged in a long while...the first time I've seen a full version page of Facebook...the first time I've looked at a YouTube in a long, long time.

The amazingly good thing that has come from this is that I have been painting A LOT! I have churned out some good work - focused work. I have rearranged my studio to give me some great new workspace. I have (sort of ) organized my supplies. I have been a full time artist! It has been wonderful. I'm thinking that in the future, I should schedule a few breaks here and there to really focus on my art. After all - It's why I'm on the web in the first place. Don't get me wrong...I can't wait to purchase my new laptop and get my website updated, get back to blogging on a regular basis and do all the other things I love to do online. But for now....I'm headed to the studio!

My Mad Frustration

I feel like I have had my right arm removed. For weeks now I have been trying to attach images to emails, add images to my blog, update my website....etc. I have been unsuccessful in every task. I have tried everything I know to try...but to no avail. It's like my photos just can't be uploaded in any capacity. HELP? Does anyone out there know what the problem could be? I am loosing it!

Tiny Gems

a bit of luck 9x12 mixed media collage 2009

I spend a good bit of time experimenting on small pieces. I often keep them, or give them as gifts. This particular painting was made with the idea of giving it as a graduation gift. (The young man asked for a painting - I know - an unusual request.) I didn't spend much time on it, it just came together very quickly. Most of the time the best work I do is very spontaneous - with no high expectations. The problem is, when I then try to use these little gems as studies for larger paintings-the spontaneity gets completely lost in translation. I end up "dinking" it to death, trying to get at the same freshness that I achieved on the small piece. This is a constant, CONSTANT, struggle for me. In trying to get back to a wonderfully messy, impulsive, and lively composition...I just end up with a mess. I guess if it was always this easy - painting wouldn't be so rewarding. Back to the drawing board.

Procrastination - thou art my nemesis!

Diptych 36x36 + 12x36 panels "Hanging Loose" 2009

Finishing a deadline always leaves me with the hollow question of what to do next. I am the type of person who likes deadlines...in fact I thrive on them! Without a "due-date" I flounder a bit. I wander from one thing to the next....sketching in the sketchbook....making little mini paintings to pin to my mini-painting assemblage...bouncing from one unfinished painting to the next. In fact I've tried to trick myself into a sort of fake-forced deadline on paintings, but I know the deal - so it doesn't work. Why do I procrastinate so? And is it- in fact, procrastination-or just part of the process? I finished the above commissioned piece just this morning. It likely would have been finished much sooner had the buyer given me a date that she needed it by. Even though I knew I wouldn't get paid until it was finished - it wasn't enough to motivate me like a : "I need to hang this before my company comes to visit on such-and-such-a-date". THAT would have kicked me into gear. What is up with that? It's certainly not because I don't need the sale! In fact, I am really trying to come up with some creative ways to boost business in these current economic times. But, alas, I dragged my feet on completing it ...and the really silly part is that the large painting was already finished and "sold"...all I had to do was make the small panel to complete the transaction. I feel like I am constantly in a self-sabotaging frame of mind - putting off things need to be done. Often times, I don't enter competitions because I've waited until the deadline and then -just can't get it together. I wonder sometimes if I'm the only one who does this? - and most importantly I wonder: WHY do I do this??? I have this quote hanging in my studio....maybe I should take it down: "Not all who wander are lost." J.R.R. Tolkien

Driven to Distraction

The new "baby" - Angus T-Bone May 2009

Here is the brand new addition to the family. Casey's Angus T-Bone came to South Carolina last weekend and immediately turned the entire household upside down. We've all had to make some adjustments. My kids are big and help with "the baby" a lot...but they're busy and have sports and he is just like having a REAL baby in the house....naps, feedings, poop time, play time....What were we thinking? The household was on auto pilot! It was smooth and easy. We didn't have to introduce a new family member. But we missed our other bulldog SO much! And, of course....there is nothing cuter than a puppy! And yes, I am in love! And yes, he is a rolly-polly sweetie pie. So now, once again, I am trying to find the balance between doing the things I love (painting) and loving (and caring for) those around me. T-Bone likes to hang out in the studio with me while I try to paint. He hasn't formed an opinion yet on how he feels about abstract art. I guess we can talk about that when he's a little older.

Right now, he's busy trying to open canvases and hunt down stray paint caps and chew on the legs of my easels. I guess I'll just have to deal with the distractions for now. It's a little aggravating - but I can paint during "nap-time" and before the big kids get home from school. This only leaves a short window of opportunity to focus - but....what the heck...He sure is cute!

Mini Victories

Soho No. 5 24x24 2008

An artist's life, it seems, is made up of occasional "mini-victories". These victories sometimes seem far and few between. But when we have them, they are sweet. I was thinking about this today, while "talking" to a fellow artist about disappointments. (I correspond with all of my artist friends online - one of the joys of living in a small town...there's no one who thinks like me for MILES.) My friend, Lisa, was extremely upset about not making it into a festival that she has been in for the last three years. She was really counting on it - and the potential sales it would bring. It is particularly rough when you expect a victory and then it doesn't happen. It is so hard to have no control over this particular aspect of our careers. Jurors are unpredictable. Work that seems very strong as you are creating it, gets waved away with a simple X beside the UNACCEPTED box. UGH! I have to take breaks from entering juried shows sometimes. They can be real confidence killers. On the flip side, when we reach for "impossible" goals and the X is by the ACCEPTED box. WOW! I knew when I painted Soho no.5 that is was fresh, spontaneous, and a nice little painting. But when it was accepted into the S.C. State Museum's 20th Anniversary show - only then was the wow! Victory! When my new gallery, Ellis-Nicholson in Charleston invited me in - victory! It makes all of those rejection letters from the other galleries and the "thanks for applying - try again." cards from juried shows - sting a little less. So- the trick is - learning to accept defeat, without letting it break you and bracing for the next little victory. I save all of the cards.... no matter where the "X" lies. It let's me know how far I've come - and keeps me on my toes.

Counting Down the Days 'Til Summer Vacation

A couple of my 8th grade students - and their American Gothic Parody

My fellow teachers and I have the countdown going. I don't know who is worse...us or our students. The difference is - we are planning all the WORK we're going to do over the summer. We don't dream of sleeping late and jumping off of docks... or lounging around the house... (well maybe a little). Some of my teaching friends are planting their gardens, some are attending seminars (what?), some are doing home improvements. Me? I am going to paint, paint, paint! (And clean out my horribly messy studio- sometime or another!) I am fortunate that I have the teaching gig and the restaurant with the hubby. And I am ever so grateful for a steady income - but I am sure ready for some ME time! Woo-Hoo...19 school days to go....and COUNTING!