Saturday, May 23, 2009
I spend a good bit of time experimenting on small pieces. I often keep them, or give them as gifts. This particular painting was made with the idea of giving it as a graduation gift. (The young man asked for a painting - I know - an unusual request.) I didn't spend much time on it, it just came together very quickly. Most of the time the best work I do is very spontaneous - with no high expectations. The problem is, when I then try to use these little gems as studies for larger paintings-the spontaneity gets completely lost in translation. I end up "dinking" it to death, trying to get at the same freshness that I achieved on the small piece. This is a constant, CONSTANT, struggle for me. In trying to get back to a wonderfully messy, impulsive, and lively composition...I just end up with a mess. I guess if it was always this easy - painting wouldn't be so rewarding. Back to the drawing board.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Finishing a deadline always leaves me with the hollow question of what to do next. I am the type of person who likes deadlines...in fact I thrive on them! Without a "due-date" I flounder a bit. I wander from one thing to the next....sketching in the sketchbook....making little mini paintings to pin to my mini-painting assemblage...bouncing from one unfinished painting to the next. In fact I've tried to trick myself into a sort of fake-forced deadline on paintings, but I know the deal - so it doesn't work. Why do I procrastinate so? And is it- in fact, procrastination-or just part of the process? I finished the above commissioned piece just this morning. It likely would have been finished much sooner had the buyer given me a date that she needed it by. Even though I knew I wouldn't get paid until it was finished - it wasn't enough to motivate me like a : "I need to hang this before my company comes to visit on such-and-such-a-date". THAT would have kicked me into gear. What is up with that? It's certainly not because I don't need the sale! In fact, I am really trying to come up with some creative ways to boost business in these current economic times. But, alas, I dragged my feet on completing it ...and the really silly part is that the large painting was already finished and "sold"...all I had to do was make the small panel to complete the transaction. I feel like I am constantly in a self-sabotaging frame of mind - putting off things need to be done. Often times, I don't enter competitions because I've waited until the deadline and then -just can't get it together. I wonder sometimes if I'm the only one who does this? - and most importantly I wonder: WHY do I do this??? I have this quote hanging in my studio....maybe I should take it down: "Not all who wander are lost." J.R.R. Tolkien